This photo puts me into tears every time I look at it.
Let’s face it, men are hard coded to not show emotions or stress levels. There is stress that a man, husband, father, etc. goes through that not many people know about. No one knows because we don’t talk about it. From paying the bills to parenting in general a man is always concerned about something. Over the last few moths I have been talking to my wife about what is bothering me. She really understands and listens to me. One day she thanked me for being so open with her.
We were forced to go through something no parent should go through. We learned that our child was not going to live long after she was born. She had a fatal birth defect called anencephaly. We had to make a choice to go through the rest of the pregnancy, or terminate the pregnancy. We went on through the rest of the pregnancy and our angel gave us over 6 hours of time with her.
That has been over a year ago and I still have my moments that I have a breakdown. It's very hard to discuss your feelings with something that is bothering you from over a year ago, but that's okay. I'm going to let everyone into my world for a few minutes. The Wife is pregnant again and everything is going great, but there is always that thought in the back of my head and she thinks about it too. This pregnancy is very different than the others because there is caution.
I make it a point to read Eden's blog at least once a week to remember everything about her. I look at the "Eden Wall" in our home, and remember everything I can. I do not want to forget anything. Her only cry, her flinch when I tapped her nose, the look on my Mom's face while she was holding her, the wife's embrace as we sit on the hospital bed, the impact that Eden had on our community, I can go on and on. Where I'm going with this is I'm remembering Eden today, and I am writing it down for future thoughts. I'm not going to lie if someone is going through what we went through, it is very hard, but there are people out there that have been in your shoes. Those are very hard shoes to be in.
To see Eden's story, go to http://www.thelifeofedenmarie.com/ and look through our story.
See my original post on Eden's birth here, http://www.thelifeofedenmarie.com/2012/12/daddys-perspective.html
Emotions can be overwhelming at times, but we can get through them together. It takes more than one to talk about what is on your mind and it is not healthy to keep them inside. At some point you will get to a breaking point, and when that happens, it takes a bigger toll on everyone than talking about it before that breaking point happens.
The new addition to our family is due in May and we are very excited to see our bundle of joy. Her name will be Rosilee. Crazy thing happened with this name, the wife had a dream that The Brookie was playing with another little girl and her name was Rosilee. The Wife had a dream about the future, and this name stuck with her. This name, Rosilee, was actually a name of a woman in The Wife's family generations ago and many women in the family were named with that name.